Direct Eye Contact in Nonverbal Communication

“The eyes, Chico. They never Lie.” – Tony Montana (Scarface)

In this famous scene of the movie Scarface,
Tony tells Manny:
– That Chick … she likes me.
– How do you know? – Manny replies.

The answer is the quote above.

We already mentioned in other posts
the importance of nonverbal communication
and how paying a little more attention to it
can improve how others perceive us.

It is not magic.
It is not something only the chosen ones can do.
It is a soft skill and as any other skill
you can learn it.

Let’s get back to the eyes.

This post is about the eyes
(or eye if you only have one).

Why You Need Good Eye Contact Communication

Eyes are a form to communicate
emotions and interest between humans.
A person can communicate with their eyes
without saying a single word.

I remember when I was 15
and came back home later than the time
my parents allowed me.
My mom just needed to stare at me.

No words.
Only a look.
No PlayStation for a week.

Eye contact activates limbic mirror system.
It is composed of Mirror Neurons.
A type of brain cell that replicates what we see in others.

This goes further than yawning when you see others doing it.

It also affects our emotions.
Remember human beings are emotional animals.
And this is crucial in communication.

Holding eye contact increases empathy between individuals
binding with other individuals,
displays honesty
and builds respect.

Nothing explains better this than romantic eye contact
as Tony Montana meant.

When you receive prolonged eye contact from a woman
or man,
you can infer certain interest.

It is important to notice the different types of eye contact.
Is the eye contact sustained?
Intense eye contact?
Strong eye contact?

It is said that eyes are:

“The windows to the soul”

We look to them to gauge the speaker’s
truthfulness, intelligence, attitudes, and feelings.

Actually,
Avoiding eye contact is a sign of social anxiety.

However,
like many aspects of communication
it is also influenced by culture and backgrounds.

For example,
Southern Europeans, Arabs, and Latins
are known for maintaining eye contact more than Asians.

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The Importance of Direct Eye Contact in Public Speaking

In public speaking there is a certain agreement between cultures
on the importance of some degree of eye contact.
Looking at others personally and pleasantly is the quickest way
to establish a bond with your listeners.
Avoiding their gaze is the quickest way to LOSE them.

It is not only just looking at them.
It is HOW you look at them.
A blank stare is almost as bad as no eye contact at all.

Beware of the tendency to look at only part of the audience
ignoring the rest.
With a small audience you can look at them one by one.
With a large one you can scan.

No matter the size of the audience
you want the eye contact to convey
confidence, sincerity, and conviction.

Eye contact associated with credibility and dominance.
Exactly what you intend to communicate in speech.
Believe me, I know what I’m talking about.

Benefits of Eye Contact.

One research showed that people retain more information when
there is more eye contact involved.
It takes direct gaze 30% of the interaction between to increase what they remembered.

Increases attraction and likeability.
Humans find other people more attractive when they make eye contact.

On the other and,
no eye contact can show a lack of confidence.

The eye is white and the pupil black for a reason.
To know where the other person is looking at.

When someone closes slightly the eyes,
we can infer she is analysing what we are saying.
Or when we open our eyes wide to allow for more light can help us
to identify a potential threat. 

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Tips for Making Eye Contact

Make Eye Contact before You Start Talking.

Eye contact opens and closes communication.
It will help you to set the tone of the conversation and
connect with your counterparts.

Hold Your gaze for 4 to 5 Seconds at a Time.

Instead of looking down when you are breaking eye contact,
look to the side and resume eye contact.
Lack of contact and blinking are interpreted as submissive.

High status people are looked at and look more while talking than listening.

As everything in life
Balance is the key.
Staring 100% can communicate hostility or
you have some sort of psychopathic disorder.

All these tips may sound obvious to you.

However,
They have a significant impact on your communication.

We have a public speaking course where
we teach other cool things like these.

The Law of Gravity explains that
everything that goes up will go down.

But we are public speaking coaches,
we know nothing about physics and
the demand is really high.

 
So, we are raising our prices soon but
we won´t lower them.

As Buzz Lightyear said:

To Infinity, and Beyond!

Do you want to learn more?

IT IS HERE.